The 3 weeks: Shiv'a-Assar (17th) B'Tammuz & Tish'a (9th) B'Av

BS"D

Here’s some information about these 3 weeks between Shiva Assar B’Tammuz (17^th of Tammuz) and Tisha B’Av (9^th of Av):

The Three Weeks: July 20-August 10, 2008 A full three weeks of our year-the three weeks "between the strictures" of Tammuz 17 and Av 9-are designated as a time of mourning over the destruction of the Holy Temple and the resultant Galus-physical exile and spiritual displacement-in which we still find ourselves. Click here for the Laws and Customs of the Three Weeks

17th of Tammuz: July 20, 2008 The Fast of the 17th of Tammuz, Shiva Assar B'Tammuz, the day when Moses broke the tablets as he saw the Jewish people worshipping the golden calf "coincidentally" proved to be the same day when the Romans broke through the walls of Jerusalem to begin their destruction of the Second Temple in the year 69 CE.

The Nine Days: August 2-10, 2008 "When the month of Av begins, we reduce our joy..." (Talmud, Ta'anit 26) Beginning on the 1st of Av, we customarily refrain from a number of activities which are associated with joy. See: The Laws and Customs of the Nine Days.

Tisha B'Av: August 9-10, 2008 The 9th of Av, Tisha B'Av, commemorates a list of catastrophes so severe it's clearly a day specially cursed by G-d. The First Temple was destroyed on this day. Five centuries later, as the Romans drew closer to the Second Temple, ready to torch it, the Jews were shocked to realize that their Second Temple was destroyed the same day as the first.

When the Jews rebelled against roman rule, they believed that their leader. Simon bar Kochba, would fulfill their messianic longings. But their hopes were cruelly dashed in 135 CE as the Jewish rebels were brutally butchered in the final battle at Betar. The date of the massacre? Of course-the 9th of Av!

The Jews were expelled from England in 1290 CE on, you guessed it, Tisha B'Av. In 1492, the Golden Age of Spain came to a close when Queen Isabella and her husband Ferdinand ordered that the Jews be banished from the land. The edict of expulsion was signed on March 31, 1492, and the Jews were given exactly four months to put their affairs in-order and leave the country. The Hebrew date on which no Jew was allowed any longer to remain in the land where he had enjoyed welcome and prosperity? Oh, by now, you know it--the 9th of Av.

Ready for just one more? World War II and the Holocaust, historians conclude, was actually the long drawn-out conclusion of World War I that began in 1914. And yes, amazingly enough, the First World War also began, on the Hebrew calendar, on the 9th of Av, Tisha B'Av.

What do you make of all this? Jews see this as another confirmation of the deeply held conviction that history isn't haphazard; events-even terrible ones-are part of a Divine plan and have spiritual meaning. The message of time is that a rational purpose, even though we don't understand it.

Don't forget to read The Laws and Customs of Tisha B'Av.

Shabbat Nachamu, August 16, 2008

The Shabbat following the Ninth of Av is the Shabbat of joy over our anticipated consolation. It is called Shabbat Nachamu, for the prophetic portion that is read is taken from Chapter 40 of Isaiah which begins with the words "Nachamu, Nachamu Ami" - "Console, console my people, says your G-d." Click here for more on Shabbat Nachamu.

The Fifteenth of Av: August 16, 2008

The 15th of Av is undoubtedly the most mysterious day of the Jewish calendar. A search of the Shulchan-Aruch ("Code of Jewish Law") reveals no observances or customs for this date, except for the instruction that beginning on the 15th of Av, one should increase one's study of Torah, since at this time of the year the nights begin to grow longer and "the night was created for study." And the Talmud tells us that many years ago the "daughters of Jerusalem would go dance in the vineyards" on the 15th of Av, and "whoever did not have a wife would go there" to find himself a bride.

And this is the day which the Talmud considers the greatest festival of the year, with Yom Kippur (!) a close second!

Furthermore information:

The Three Weeks The twenty-one day period between the seventeenth of Tammuz and the ninth of Av is referred to as Bein Ha-Metzarim - "within the straits," based on the verse (Eichah 1:3) which states: All of her pursuers overtook her within the straits. The Sages (Eichah Rabbah 1) explained that within the straits refers to the days of affliction which occurred in the period between the seventeenth of Tammuz and the ninth of Av. In this period, many calamities befell the Jewish people throughout the generations. It was during this period of within the straits that both the first and second Temples were destroyed. This period was therefore established as a time of mourning for the destruction of the Sanctuaries. During this period, we lessen the extent of our rejoicing. Marriages are not held, we refrain from listening to music, dancing, taking pleasure trips, and from taking haircuts or shaving. According to the Sephardic custom, which is based on the opinion of Beit Yosef, haircuts are permitted until the week in which Tisha B’Av actually falls. It is customary not to recite the Shehecheyanu blessing during this period. Thus, we do not wear new clothing or eat fruit which we had not yet eaten that season so that we will not be required to recite Shehecheyanu. However, when faced with an opportunity to fulfill a mitzvah which will pass - e.g., a circumcision or a Pidyon Haben - then the blessing is made. Similarly, if a new fruit is available during this three-week period and might not be available afterwards, Shehecheyanu is recited. Since it is customary to permit the recital of the blessing on Shabbat, it is preferable to save the new fruit until Shabbat. A pregnant woman who has a craving for a new fruit, however, or a sick person who needs it for his health, may recite Shehecheyanu during the three weeks. It is customary to be even more careful than one usually is in avoiding dangerous situations. Pious people set aside a period of time for reflection and mourning over the destruction of both Temples. In some communities it is customary to recite the Tikkun-Chatzot even at noon. The Lubavitcher Rebbe also urged that the Three Weeks should be a time of increased giving of charity and Torah study (in keeping with the verse (Isaiah 1:27), "Zion shall be redeemed by law, and her returnees by charity"), particularly the study of those portions of Torah that deal with the laws and the deeper significance of the Holy Temple.

The Nine Days

When the month of Av begins, we further limit our rejoicing to the point where we even avoid anything that can lead us to rejoice. Thus, we do not plant trees meant for beauty or shade. Similarly, we do not undertake any construction or home improvement projects for the sake of luxury, such as redecorating or painting our homes. However, if one has no place to live, he may build a home in this period.

It is prohibited to purchase, sew, weave, or knit new clothing -even if one intends to wear the clothing only after the Ninth of Av. One may not purchase even a used garment if it is because of its beauty. The prohibition of purchasing a new garment is more stringent than wearing a new garment which had been purchased previously.

It should be noted, however, that these restrictions refer only to situations where no mitzvah is involved. For the purpose of fulfilling a commandment - e.g., purchasing new clothing for a bride and groom or building a home for them - these things are permitted. If there is reason to fear that the price of clothing will rise after The Ninth of Av, one may purchase whatever clothes he wishes but should not wear them until after The Ninth of Av.

Beginning from Rosh Chodesh Av, one may not wash clothing even if the clothing will not be worn until after The Ninth of Av. If one has only one set of clothes, however, they may be washed after Rosh Chodesh, until the week during which The Ninth of Av falls.

A person who perspires profusely and needs to change his shirt daily should prepare a number of shirts and wear each of them briefly before Rosh Chodesh. He may then wear them during the week in which The Ninth of Av falls.

In addition to the prohibition of getting their own hair cut, adults are also proscribed from cutting their children's hair, beginning from the seventeenth of Tammuz, and from washing their children's clothing beginning from Rosh Chodesh Av. The clothing of infants, however, may be laundered - even during the week in which The Ninth of Av falls. lf possible, one should not launder large quantities and one should not do so publicly.

It is prohibited to wear new shoes from Rosh Chodesh. However, shoes purchased specifically for The Ninth of Av - e.g., shoes made from canvas or rubber - may be worn even if they are new.

One may make a wedding engagement during this period but no celebration with a festive meal should be held.

From Rosh Chodesh until after The Ninth of Av, it is prohibited to eat meat or drink wine, for during this period the sacrifices and libations in the Beis Hamikdash ceased. Through custom this prohibition has been expanded to include food cooked with meat. However, one may eat food that was prepared in a meat pot. The Sephardic custom is to keep these stringencies only in the week in which The Ninth of Av falls. At a festive meal served at a circumcision, Pidyon ha-ben, bar mitzvah, or at the conclusion of the study of a Talmudic tractate, etc. - one may eat meat and drink wine.

Starting from Rosh Chodesh, it is customary for the ritual slaughterers to put their knives away. Meat is slaughtered during this period only for the ill, for Shabbat, or for use at a festive meal.

It is customary not to use wine for the Havdalah service, but rather to use beer. The Chabad custom is to recite the Havdalah on wine and have a child who is old enough to understand the importance of the blessing, drink the wine.

Starting from Rosh Chodesh Av [according to Sephardic custom beginning with the week in which The Ninth of Av falls] one may not bathe the entire body - even in cold water. We do not bathe in a pool, a river, or the ocean. However, if Rosh Chodesh Av falls on a Friday, one may bathe in warm water in honor of Shabbat.

The above prohibition refers specifically to bathing for pleasure. One who must bathe for health purposes - e.g., a person whom the doctors ordered to bathe - or a laborer who performs work that makes him dirty, may do so during this period.

On the Friday before Shabbat Chazon - the Shabbat immediately before The Ninth of Av - it is prohibited to wash one's entire body even in cold water. One may wash his face, hands, and feet in cold water. One who customarily washes himself before Shabbat with warm water may use warm water also on this Friday, but only to wash his face, hands, and feet.

One who customarily immerses himself in a Mikveh on Friday may do so on the Friday of Shabbat Chazon as well. However, one who only occasionally immerses himself on Fridays should not do so on this Friday.

Shabbat Nachamu

The Shabbat following the Ninth of Av is the Shabbat of joy over our anticipated consolation. It is called Shabbat Nachamu, for the prophetic portion that is read is taken from Chapter 40 of Isaiah which begins with the words Nachamu, Nachamu Ami - "Console, console my people, says your G-d."

Usually, the Haftarah reading on Shabbat pertains to a theme in the respective Torah portion which is read. However, when a given Shabbat has a different character - e.g., on a Festival or Rosh Chodesh - the Haftarah reading reflects the specific theme of the day instead.

Thus, on the three Sabbaths between the Seventeenth of Tammuz and The Ninth of Av, the Haftarot reflect the sense of calamity that characterizes the period. The first two are drawn from Jeremiah, while the third is from Isaiah.

The Haftarah of Shabbat Nachamu is the first of the "seven consolations" - the seven Haftarot which are read on the seven Sabbaths following The Ninth of Av. These Haftarot are taken from Isaiah and record the prophetic messages of consolation which Isaiah offered Israel.

There are 144 verses altogether in the seven Haftarot of consolation, and 143 verses contained in the portions of admonition in the Torah recorded in Bechukotai, Ki-Tavo, Nitzavim, and Ha'azinu - and we see that the consolation exceeds the admonition.

A Double Consolation "Console, console my people" - the word Nachamu - "console" - is repeated, and thus it is said: Let those above console her and those below console her; let the living console her and let the dead console her; console her in this world and console her in the World to Come; console her for the ten tribes and console her for the tribes of Binyamin and Yehudah. The verse (Lamentations 1:2) uses the Hebrew root meaning "to weep," in two forms, for emphasis (Bacho Tivkeh) - thus we should weep twice: over the destruction of the first Temple and over the destruction of the second. For all these reasons, the consolation - Nachamu, Nachamu – is mentioned twice.

*** Above portions were copied from Chabad.org ***

We recommend that you visit them for more info…..

————————————————————————

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***

By the way, You, too, can help hasten the coming of Moshiach by doing ONE more Mitzvah.

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***

————————————————————————

"10,000 Mexican eggs in it - Only 2 have hatched so far!!!"

BS"D Two Mexicans are riding along the Pacific Coast Highway on a motorbike. They experience a break down and start to hitch a ride. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can be of some help and the Mexicans ask him for a lift. He tells them he has no room in the trailer as he is carrying 10,000 bowling balls. The Mexicans ask the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back with their bike, will he take them to the next town and he agrees. They manage to squeeze their motorcycle and themselves into the back of the trailer so the driver shuts the doors and gets back on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough the California Highway Patrol pulls him over for speeding. The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies jokingly-- "Mexican eggs." The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so he wants to take a look. He opens the back door of the trailer and quickly shuts it and locks it. He gets on his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many officers. "I've got a trailer with 10,000 Mexican eggs in it - Only 2 have hatched so far but they've already managed to steal a motorcycle." ———————————————————————— *** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! *** By the way, You, too, can help hasten the coming of Moshiach by doing ONE more Mitzvah. *** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! *** ————————————————————————

Story of: Shabbos In a Gas Station!

BS"D

ChabadWorld.Net

Story of:

Shabbos In a Gas Station

Almost forty years ago, Rabbi Chaim Drizin, emissary of the Lubavitcher Rebbe in San Francisco, received a call from a Reform temple in Sacramento, California. They wanted their kids to experience a truly Chassidic Shabbat, and they wanted to know whether he would run a Shabbos program out in the mountains at their camp. He agreed.

Rabbi Drizin called Rabbi Avrohom Levitansky, ZTz"L (of blessed memory), and Rabbi Moshe Engel, and asked them to take part. Rabbi Engel lived in Long Beach and Rabbi Levitansky lived in Simcha Monica, so they arranged to fly up north together in order to join Rabbi Drizin.

There was only one problem.

Rabbi Levitansky and Rabbi Engel were not able to arrange a flight until Friday afternoon. They had been told that the campsite was about 40 minutes’ drive from the airport, so they were confident that they would make it in time for Shabbos. As it happened, they landed in Sacramento as planned and were in for a nasty shock. They were met by a teacher from the camp, Jack, who informed them that the camp was a two-and-a-half hour drive away! It was five o’clock, only two hours until Shabbos.

The two rabbis told Jack to drive like mad. However, he missed the exit for the highway that lead directly to the camp.

With this delay, their hope of getting to the camp before Shabbat faded away. The rabbis began to discuss where they would spend Shabbat, as there was no way to make it to the camp on time. Finally, a minute before Shabbat, Jack pulled off the road in a gas station in the town of Auburn, California. The rabbis quickly emptied the car of whatever they would need for a Shabbat stay: their prayer-books, challahs and wine. But where would they go? Where would they sleep? After praying the Friday night service, the men began trudging around Auburn looking for a motel room. But being that it was Shabbat, they would not handle money. No motels were willing to grant them a room under those circumstances, despite their promises to pay as soon as Shabbat was up. Finally they found a seedy room over a bar, and there they spent the night. The next morning, they walked back to the gas station to find that their food and prayer-books had been taken! The two men prayed by heart to the best of their ability. The manager of the gas station offered them soda and snacks from the machines, which they gratefully accepted. As the day wore on, the two rabbis wondered at the Divine providence that brought them to Auburn. For what possible reason had G-d caused them to be stranded in this town for Shabbat? They met no Jews in the city, nor did they encounter anyone who served as a clue to the mystery. After Shabbat, Jack drove up again to take them to the camp. He told them that he had gone on ahead to the camp, and when he told the campers what had happened to the two rabbis, they did not believe him! The two rabbis arrived in the camp and were greeted by a rousing welcome from the 100 teenagers participating in the Temple’s Shabbaton. The rabbis sang, spoke and shared stories with the students until late into the night. One of the songs they taught turned out to be a real hit with the kids. It was a song about keeping kosher, and it went like this: “All the animals that I eat must chew their cud and have split feet. Kosher meat just can’t be beat, so throw away that ham. Throw away that ham and bacon—I won’t eat it, you’re mistaken! I’m a Jew and I’m not fakin’—I want kosher meat to eat.” The evening ended, and the rabbis were left with the mystery of why they had traveled all this way, spent Shabbat in a gas station and gone through all this just to teach some songs to the kids. Quite a few years passed before they got the answer. Rabbi Engel was invited to spend Shabbat in Park City, Utah, with a group from a “Conservaform” Temple. A young couple in their early 20’s drove him from Salt Lake City to the campsite. They were to be the chaperones on this trip. “Are there many people who keep kosher here in Salt Lake City?” he asked.

This was before a Chabad House was established in Salt Lake City. “A few older families keep kosher,” the husband said, “and so do we. We are the only young couple here who keeps kosher.” This was very intriguing to Rabbi Engel, and he asked, “What makes a couple your age commit to keeping kosher in the middle of Salt Lake City?” “I’ll tell you why,” the wife said. “It’s going to sound like a crazy story. I once went to a Shabbaton and these rabbis who were supposed to come got stuck in a gas station. They came after Shabbos was over, and that night they sang this crazy song about kosher. The song began with ‘all the animals that I eat’ and ended with ‘I want kosher meat to eat.’ I was so touched by what they did,” she continued, “that even though I was sixteen, and I couldn’t keep kosher at home, I decided that when I had my own home, it would be kosher.” How shocked the couple was when Rabbi Engel told them that he was one of the rabbis who had been stuck in the gas station! That’s when Rabbi Engel realized that he and Rabbi Levitansky had made a bigger impact by spending Shabbat in a gas station than they would have had they made it to the camp in time for Shabbat.

————————————————————————

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***

By the way, You, too, can help hasten the coming of Moshiach by doing ONE more Mitzvah.

————————————————————————

Someone told me: “I could be wrong, but judging by his hat, this guy ain’t gonna make it!!!!”

BS"D

Place: EMERGENCY ROOM ALABAMA MEDICAL CENTER Date: The 60’s!!

One guy said to me: “I could be wrong, but judging by his hat, this guy ain’t gonna make it!!!!”

BUT, if you believe in G-o-d and you see NO COLORS, a patient is just a patient, NO Matter IF he is even a piece garbage like that! in the middle of this picture

————————————————————————

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***

By the way, You, too, can help hasten the coming of Moshiach by doing ONE more Mitzvah.

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! *** ————————————————————————

Didn’t your mother tell you: “STOP Playing With Your FOOD and EAT It?!?!?!”

BS”D

This is a cool view at food & fruits:

————————————————————————

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***

By the way, You, too, can help hasten the coming of Moshiach by doing ONE more Mitzvah.

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! *** ————————————————————————

Did you ever NOTICE, you can NEVER get things done!

BS”D

This is how it develops:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox, when I take-out the garbage any-way, I may as well, pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.

I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide, I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye–they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.

I decide, I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly, I spot the TV remote, Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day:

—-the car isn’t washed, —-the bills aren’t paid, —-there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, —-the flowers don’t have enough water, —-there is still only 1 check in my check book, —-I can’t find the remote, —-I can’t find my glasses, —-and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it

BUT, first I’ll check my e-mail.

————————————————————————

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***

By the way, You, too, can help hasten the coming of Moshiach by doing ONE more Mitzvah.

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! *** ————————————————————————

Investment ADVICE: What should you invest in, so you make lots of MONEY?!!!

BS”D

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of:

• Nortel stock a few years ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
• With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.
• With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.
• If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer/wine one year ago, drank all the beer/wine, then turned in the cans/bottles for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to Drink heavily and recycle.

Let people you care about, know… and tell them to Start Now!!!

————————————————————————

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***

By the way, You, too, can help hasten the coming of Moshiach by doing ONE more Mitzvah.

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! *** ————————————————————————

Pictures of Muslims marching through the streets of London during their recent “Religion of Peace” Demonstration.

BS”D

No-matter, what you say, The Arabs are VERY Peaceful people!!!!

They LOVE Peace and they are PROUD to demonstrate for it!!!!!

Let me show you what my friend e-mailed me:

————————————————————————

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***

By the way, You, too, can help hasten the coming of Moshiach by doing ONE more Mitzvah.

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! *** ————————————————————————

The laptop of FUTURE!!!

BS”D

What do you think these are?

Well, Let’s see!

Any ideas, yet? (Besides the title of this post?!?!?)

Yeah!

You got it!

This guy, says that it’s the laptop /Desktop computer of the FUTURE!!!

Here!

Let me show you!

————————————————————————

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***

By the way, You, too, can help hasten the coming of Moshiach by doing ONE more Mitzvah.

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! *** ————————————————————————

“Please AVOID Rodeo”

BS”D

My wife and I went to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.

We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said: ‘THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR’

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs …Smiled and said, ‘He mated 50 times last year.’

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said: ‘THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR’

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said: ‘THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR’

My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, ‘WOW~~That’s more than twice a week! ………You could learn a lot from him.’

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,

‘THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR’

My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said: ‘That’s once a day……You could REALLY learn something from this one.’

I looked at her and said: ‘Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.’

Honestly——–My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery!

I got one advice for you: “Please AVOID Rodeo”

————————————————————————

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***

By the way, You, too, can help hasten the coming of Moshiach by doing ONE more Mitzvah.

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! *** ————————————————————————

True Friendship!

BS”D

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT.

DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT AND ONE FRIEND SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE.

THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT BUT, WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING, WROTE IN THE SAND:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

THEY KEPT ON WALKING, UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS, WHERE THEY DECIDED TO TAKE A BATH .

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING, BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM THE NEAR DROWNING, HE WROTE ON A STONE:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND ASKED HIM, “AFTER I HURT YOU, YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW, YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?”

THE OTHER FRIEND REPLIED “WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN IN SAND WHERE WINDS OF FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.

BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US, WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT.”

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BLESSINGS IN STONE.

THEY SAY IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON, AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM, A DAY TO LOVE THEM, BUT THEN AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM.

TELL THEM TO COME READ THIS PHRASE TO THE PEOPLE YOU’LL NEVER FORGET.

TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE!

DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE!

BUT, VALUE WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE!

————————————————————————

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***

By the way, You, too, can help hasten the coming of Moshiach by doing ONE more Mitzvah.

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! *** ————————————————————————

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?!?!?!

BS"D

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD??

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE! JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me . . . DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems. OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. COLIN POWELL: Now, to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road . . . ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. JOHN KERRY: Although, I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone. GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken? AL GORE: I INVENTED the chicken! COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss ONE? DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun? AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.